The Tale of Bengaluru Marathon 2024 

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping… Yes, folks, it was that kind of day, only in our dreams. By the end of the run, almost all the runners were limping, the Sun wasn’t seen, and the sweaty bodies… well, you get the picture. 

It was humid like Goa in December and draining as the wails of a two-year-old throwing a tantrum rolling on the floor. You get the picture. 

 Let’s dive into the results of this hilarious human experiment that some of us like to call “running a race,” but we should call it “a casual collective attempt at survival.”

Full Marathon (FM) Drama

First up, the brave souls who signed up for 42.195 km of torture. Some thrived, some survived, and some are still out there…

• Sumit showed up at the party and left before anyone realized. Finishing in a blazing 3:34, he might have mistaken the marathon for a 10K. Rumor has it he got home in time for breakfast. Most of the Ninjas still don’t know who he is. Well, he refuses to be social and put up a picture. [shhh. You can see him running crazy early AM hours on the outer circle; you can wave, but he won’t acknowledge.]
• Ravi wasn’t too far behind, crossing the line at 4:03:14. He’s still bragging to friends that he “could’ve done sub-4,” but we all know that’s the runner’s version of “I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” Kudos to him for barely sleeping to ensure he does not sleep at the wheel as he drove the FM contingent to the start line. Well done, sir. We mean driving, not the run. [remove that extra ~4 minutes, and then we can admire your run, too]
• Pooja, clocking in at 4:33, ran with grace and dignity until about kilometer 35, when she reportedly stopped to negotiate with her legs. Fortunately, they reached an agreement, and she finished in style. She went over her target by 3 minutes because her other half didn’t show up to cheer in time. He did try to make up later by running a half [with a PR, no less]. You can all see their pictures in the end. It’s safe to assume he may have slept on the couch last night. 
• Sachin cruised in at 5:04, just in time for the post-race breakfast. He claims his timing chip malfunctioned, and his real finish time was “totally faster.” Yeah, right… We will believe it when we actually see you at Anna Chowk one of these days running with us. Until then… Eid-Ka-Chaand, Solar/Luna Eclipse… or whatever you call it. 
• Subhadeep took the scenic route at 5:28, ensuring he got the full marathon experience: leg cramps, hallucinations, and the existential crisis that comes at kilometer 30. He says it was all part of his strategy. After all, “Paisa Vasool” is a cultural thing we must all engage in. So, next time, please know that those who run the sexy-pace are ensuring that their fees are fully used. [whether it’s your own or not, chips can be chippy, but we are not going to chirp, right? RIGHT?]

Bengaluru’s Humid Half Marathon: A Race Against Sweat and Sanity!

Ah, Bengaluru in the rainy season! The kind of weather that hugs you with 98% humidity and refuses to let go—just like that last bit of energy towards the end of the race. But still, 32 (+5 marathoners) brave (or something else?) souls lined up, ready to take on the half marathon through a city that feels more like a sauna than a race course during this time of year. Here’s a comical look at how it all unfolded:

The “Flash” Pack

The ones who almost broke the sound barrier but were stopped short by Bengaluru’s notorious potholes and wandering cows.

• Ishu Singh was the first to cross the line at 1:44:25. There’s speculation that Ishu could have gone faster without a brief pause to wipe the sweat off his brow. Also, he was rushing to take pictures at the finish line with brow-raising people. Check his insta. And yeah, what he and Sambi agree (or bet) on – we don’t wanna know. 
• Shantanu was right on Ishu’s tail at 1:44:49. With that pace, it’s unclear if he was trying to outrun Ishu or escape the mosquitoes. Whatever it was, it worked! Also, has anyone seen him lately or ever? He owes Samosas and Chai. Have him report to Xavier stat.
• Prashant Kumar, with a blazing 1:45:05, powered through the humidity, his shoes squishing with each step as if he were running through a swamp. He might have taken a shortcut through Ulsoor Lake. Or was he rushing to support his wife, unlike someone else who worried about their PR [see chapter on full marathon].
• Abhishek Roy came in at 1:48. He was not happy. But then, has anyone seen him happy after a race? Anyone… okay! We are all on the same page. Most of us would love to get this pace, but Mr. Perfectionist is still seeking. He has yet to perfect his “Art of Happiness.” Thankfully, his company is not named Furor&Fit, or he’d be living his marketing. Phew!
• Deepak Chawla clocked in at 1:46:52. The race organizers are still investigating how he managed to maintain such a smooth stride. Some say he was trying to run away from a particular marathoner whom he didn’t show up to support. Grapevine has it he was caught at the finish line. What happened at the finish line stays at the finish line. [See chapter on FM]

The “Sub-2 Hour Dreamers”

They did what most only dream of: finishing before breakfast became brunch.

• Pratyush stormed through at 1:58:17, breaking the 2-hour barrier with just enough time to look fantastic and cross the finish line. And then he messed up the pictures and scared the bazookas out of everyone by crashing at the line. The recently acquired Japanese Zen rescued him, and he could walk again independently. Don’t do that again, please. 
• Deepankar, just behind at 1:54:55, reportedly spent the last 500 meters singing motivational songs to himself. “You Got This” may have been sung aloud or at least screamed internally.
• Vaibhav cruised in at 1:59, breathing heavily and high-fiving everyone like he just won gold. Honestly, with that humidity, finishing at all deserves a medal.
• Nikhil Jain was seen running casually, taking it all in, and finished at 1:55:08. What’s a half marathon if you don’t post it on Instagram? So, he did take some good pictures.
• Kumar Sundaram finished at 1:55:20 with a perfectly timed sprint. Not because of a desire for glory but because the Great Coach helped someone else meet their time. Not all heroes wear capes. 
• And let’s not forget Debuttam, aka Debottam. Whether his flashy shorts were being chased, fear of Coach Sundaram’s drills was giving him jitters, or just flat out him chasing some flashy shorts/shoes [we will never know], he debuted his HM journey with a sub-2. At 1:59:36, he is the difference between the “dreamers” and the “hopefuls.” Jr. Xavier isn’t just giving competition to the comedy King of the group; he is also seriously going after the runners. Warning flags have been raised. 

The “I’ll Get There Eventually, Hopefully” Crew

These runners didn’t care about personal bests—they were just trying not to melt.

• Kamal clocked in at 2:03:12. His strategy? Run for a bit, walk for a bit, complain about the weather for a bit. Repeat until you cross the line. And guess what? It worked. 
• Sibu and Sambi, who finished with 2:12:13 and 2:13:07, respectively, had clearly formed a brotherhood mid-race. Word is that they stopped for a chai break at kilometer 12. No one blames them.
• Mahendra glided along at 2:10:33, though some claim he hitchhiked part of the race on the back of a passing auto-rickshaw. Is there truth to that, Mahendra? It’s hard to figure out the truth since we haven’t seen you in a long time. The next bib collection and the chai-Samosa sponsorship miss you. 
• Nirav, aka IronMan, MotaBhai, MasterTrainer, CoreTeacher, and more… chilled out the entire course like the humidity didn’t even touch him. He accompanied Meghasi 2:16 to finish her target and enjoy Bengaluru’s running culture. While we did not see Meghasi sweat, knowing MotaBhai, she would have needed a towel, bottle, and mat to stretch after the run. Monday Mania(c) doesn’t spare anyone. 
• Neeraj and Udit, finishing just seconds apart at 2:18:10 and 2:17:10, spent the last few kilometers debating which part of Bengaluru has the worst traffic. They decided the race course was in the top 5. Neeraj also blamed the U-turn and the knee injury. But he looked just fine after the beer. So, who knows what’s going on? 
• Taran finished like a cool cucumber at 2:12:46. She had a great run and looked in high spirits.  

The “Let’s Just Call This Fun” Group

The ones who weren’t so much racing as they were surviving. Heroes, really.

• At 2:39, Dinesh was last seen trudging along, looking like he was at the world’s sweatiest spa.
• Siddharth, aka, Sid came in at 2:37:39, slowly but surely. If you asked him why he signed up, he might just stare at you, still trying to figure that out himself. 
• Rajeev, who finished at 2:47, claimed he was “enjoying the scenic route.” His scenic route includes figuring out which real estate to buy next for a resort or setting up a Chai shop—no, actually, Coke, now. 
• Anushka crossed the line at 2:52:00, and she’s already signed up for her next race because, in her words, “It can’t get worse than this, right?” Famous last words.
• Sruthi came in at 3:05:03. We are still trying to figure out who she is. She showed up and then went away. If you do see her, report to Xavier at Anna Chowk. 
• At 2:54, Amitabh had a lot of fun. There were hydration stops, conversations, and pictures… You pick up the bibs; you deserve to chill. We are so proud and thankful. Vijay Dinanath Chauhan [thanks, Xavier] can do whatever he wants. 

Special Mentions

• Major Sumit completed the course at 2:33:49, maintaining a level of seriousness that made others around him start running faster out of sheer intimidation. He ran with an injury, but being a Major, he finished the race and ensured we all returned safely. Well done, Major!
• Sankalp and Abhishek Dwivedi finished at eerily similar times, at 2:46:45 and 2:46:18. Whether they were pacing each other or just commiserating about their mutual suffering is still debatable.
• Anna came in at 2:31:57 with a beaming smile at the finish. We could have assumed it was heat-induced delirium if it had been someone else, but Anna has seen it all. One can safely assume Anna got the most incredible pictures again. 

The “Why Did We Do This?” Club

• Anannya crossed at 3:03, a true warrior of endurance. She’s still wiping away the humidity from her mind and face, but she finished. And she celebrated with a beer.
• Vijay snuck in under the 3-hour mark at 2:59:18, claiming the course and weather conditions were “out of this world.” 

And so, dear reader, another Bengaluru Marathon ends with our runners either blissfully rehydrating or plotting revenge on the friend who convinced them to sign up.

Until next year, may your socks stay dry, and your running routes stay clear of dogs, cows, and vehicles. 

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This awesome race report of our group – Running Ninjas, is written by Neeraj Mathur, who is one of the most active members and volunteers of the group. Running aside, Neeraj is also a prolific reader and writer, and pens his thoughts on a superb blog named – Chai Musings. Here is a link to Neeraj’s super interesting blog – https://neerajmathur.com/about/.